So, it has been a hot minute since I have done a post. The second half of last year flew by with Maverick in school, and holiday season. I made it a resolution to make sure I keep this up this year for myself. Whether nobody reads or not, I like looking back and reading.
With that said, this isn’t a very happy post. My feelings are all over the place as I type this. My GPA, as I have shared has ALWAYS been my favorite person I have ever known. 6 years ago today, I got the worst call of my life. I had just left my hometown of Salina, to go back after visiting family in town. I told my GPA, like I always had before, “I love you and I will see you later”, to which he replied his usual, “I love you too kiddo, and I reckon’ I’ll be here”. Well I had just got to my husband (then boyfriend’s) house that was in a city between my hometown and the current town I was residing. It was a Saturday night and we were getting ready to go see a movie. Unfortunately no movie was seen, but I was in a real life horror. My GPA had suffered a stroke, was too old to be a candidate for surgery, and in a coma state with bleeding on left side of his brain and leaving right side paralyzed. I remember vividly every detail of that day and the days to come.
I arrived at the hospital in record time, did you know that you could drive 170 miles in just an hour and 40 min? I probably would have been on the news for a car chase if a cop tried to pull me over. I got to the hospital and GPA was still there. He didn’t break his promise. My mom, sister, uncle were there and I just remember walking down the hall and like always, my uncle J was the one that was there that I collapsed and buried my head into as he held me while I sobbed. I got it all out and went in to see GPA and made every effort to be positive and happy in his room. I would tell him things like “man you really didn’t have to do this to get me back home so quick”….I really do think he laughed inside with my witty jokes. I remember singing his favorite songs he liked me to sing. I recall him squeezing my hand, the doctor ( p.s. if you are a doctor why are you all pessimists???? like just stop) but anyways the doctor said it was his body jerking, not consciously squeezing. Say whatever doctor dude, you may have some fancy degree you spend millions on and earn millions for BUT you don’t know my GPA, you DO NOT know the fight in him that had him survive so many things like WWII, being shot, being stabbed multiple times, blown up in a camper, a stroke prior and so much more. You don’t know doctor dude, but I do and that was a firm GPA squeeze that I had felt many times in my life.
I had much faith and hope but the rest of the family soon began to travel to Kansas and be here. The waiting room for days was filled with our family. None of us wanted to leave the hospital. He meant the world to everyone. GPA held on until his last child got here, he had 6. Then on Thursday, January 12th, 2012 it was the morning and I remember my aunt coming to the waiting room saying, “you guys come on , he is going”. My faithful heart was thinking he was going to another room, but my head knew that was not the case. All 6 of his children, and I think there was 12 of us grandchildren, and some significant others piled into the little hospital room. I was lucky enough to be holding his left hand. I remember looking around and seeing all the tears, all the faces saying it was ok for him to go see grandma. I remember saying it but my head was screaming, ” don’t go. Don’t Leave! I can’t do life without you GPA!” I remember holding my little cousin on my hip and he had me lean him over to say “love you grandpa”. He was 7, so young to really grasp this but he did. The doctor said he was gone, my mom crumbled to the floor, It felt like time froze. I know I was crying and consoling my cousin, I know I couldn’t let go of GPA’s hand and I just looked all around the room. A family that was all united and here because of one man. The Patriarch.
Forever missed and loved. Never forgotten.
Until next time,
Jess
My GorJess Life 